I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
