Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
