Porn is love you can see.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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