would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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