Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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