some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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