I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
