they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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