I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
