dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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