Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
