You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
