Ambien. No doubt about it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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