I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
