On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
