But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
