Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
