i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
