Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
