what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
