Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
