Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize