What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
