super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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