my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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