Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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