We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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