youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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