i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
