Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
