when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
