Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm way too hungover for life right now
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
