i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize