I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
