the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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