I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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