the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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