My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize