Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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