And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize