we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
