He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
