Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
