After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
