Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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