I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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