I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
