I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize