Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
