My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So many bounce houses so little time
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
