you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
