...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
