tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
