Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We had sex on a dog bed..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
