erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
