Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
