took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
