she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
