Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
