Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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