i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
