she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
