Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
