It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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