Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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