i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize