Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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